6 months of medications does things to a person. Every single day I fight off depression with one thing pushing me to keep going. I know you can’t force love. Baby I know…

I will not force anything. Rather than painfully sit and wait until that thing deep down inside of you comes out and pushes you to accept my begging. And I know that you will be faithful. I don’t doubt that. I’m not asking you to go against anything. I just want you to know that I am waiting. My arms will always be open. I’ve made mistakes. Now I’m trying to make them right.

once you realize she isn’t the one for you. Or maybe she has different plans. I am here.  I’ve already said it once and I will say it a million times over, I can wait years.

I understand that I’m not there and she is. That was the main strain on our relationship and it wasn’t healthy. Next time we will be together every single day. There will be no strain on our relationship and I will shower you with hugs and kisses. You will always know how much I love you, I promise.

I will always be there for you. And you know where to find me when you need me. You know that.

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You said you were enjoying life and trying to find someone who cares…you said that on the 23rd…

god 5 days before that…

…I just wish you would’ve fought harder….

i still love you. It doesn’t change a thing.

you know you don’t have to completely break contact with me. I can wait a million years for you, I just can’t live my life without you. I only want to repair what’s broken.

i promise I’ll do it.

I am devoted now. Isn’t it now that counts, love?

The past…I was sad…I was mad. I felt deprived of attention. I was also under the influence. I know that there is no excuse. I’ve asked for forgiveness.

Now all I’m looking for is you’re forgiveness. And a new chapter..the one where we live happily ever after. I will get my happily ever after. I will make sure you get it too. Im working my harderst.

I can make him love me.

things will change. Things will change. I will give him everything he wants. He can move out of his moms house..I’ll show him that I love him every single second we are together.

I don’t care that it only took him a week to get over me… September 19th… One week..I deserve it. I deserve to be treated like shit. From the beginning I deserved the little attention he gave me. I just didn’t realize it.

He can treat me however he wants. I will show him that I love him.

I’m working and saving up to move to Renton. I’m going to amend my mistakes. I only love one person. And if this is fate then you will see this. And if luck is on my side then maybe we’ll run into each other in a year and a half.

I should’ve just gave him sex. That’s what bodies are for and for a while I thought that’s all he wanted. But that’s me..always fucking things up. If I gave it to him then our relationship wouldn’t have diminished. None of this would’ve happened. I’m such a selfish bitch.