Keep my picture/envelope with me
Keep my stuffed animals for grandchildren
Keep or sell
-my camera
-my orientals, incense, bones, gems
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All posts by alwaysjany
5 feet under, in the ground
There she lays without a sound
In death’s grip forever and ever
Ruin more lives, she will never.
I hate myself. I hate him. He has no right to feel bad. I fucked two different people, once. He continuously flirted and touched that slut I called my best friend for 6 months. If I want to screw other people then I will. And I won’t feel bad. I just wish I was dead
I’m not enough to make you happy
I’m not enough to satisfy you
You want them
You need them
They give themselves to you freely
I am nothing.
I will never be enough for you.
I’m worthless
I’m ugly
YOU WANT THIS. HE WANTS THIS. IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY PROMISE.
He likes them skinny. He can’t control you. You can do what you want. He can’t force you to be ugly. You will force him to love you and he’ll think you are pretty.
Nothing is worth being fat.
You don’t need food, Fat people like you aren’t welcome anywhere! People would be able to lift you like a feather, you will be able to run faster without any extra fat slowing you down. people will remember you as the skinny, beautiful girl. if somebody was going to describe you they’d say: Oh,she’s that really thin girl. people would like to get to know you, not turn their back on you and walk away. Starving yourself is an example of extremely high self control. You’d be able to see your beautiful bones. bones are real. Fat is something you add to your body, not something your born with. If you gain just a little bit more weight you’re gonna look like a pig! Models are the image of perfection and I bet you’ve never saw a fat model. Too many people are obese, people who eat are selfish. only fat people get turned on by fat people!do you want pigs like you?! Everybody had inner beauty but only the strongest can achieve outer beauty. You’d be able to move as gracefully as a spider, only thin people are graceful. If you hit a fat person, you can see their bodys moving for a long time after. Do you fucking want people to say: Hey! Move away you’re crushing me. Or I can’t breathe, or do you want them to say: oh my god! You weigh like nothing ! Underweight means you have a body like a pretty ballerina. You want to be lifted by a ballon into the sky. You wanna be able to walk in the snow without leaving footprints. You can solve most of your problems by loosing weight. Even simply by saying a little “no thank you, I’m full.” Is saying yes to being thin. People only. Notice a fat person, standing infront of a skinny one. Have you ever met someone who didn’t notice a living skeleton ?!is food more important than being happy? When you feel dizzy and weak, you’re almost there. Starvation is your friend and it won’t cheat you like food will. Can you even mention one reason that being fat is good? I know I can say over millions of reasons why not to be. Thin people are always looking good in any outfits. Nothing is worth being fat for!
Waist 37in 93cm
Bust 47 in 107cm
What happened? How did I become this…this thing? Why did I ever think I was what I was in the past..and how can I live with myself now… People say that knowing is half the battle. But, I know a lot of things about myself, yet nothing is happening.
I’m on the bus. It’s 4:30.
The sun is setting shining an orange hue on everything.
There’s a young blind boy who gets on.
I can’t help but stare.
He has the most beautiful blond hair ever. Wearing a gardening hat, his hair is very short but what I can see…it’s as white as snow.
Sometimes the most beautiful things in the world, are the most tragic of all.
I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to let go of the things I love way too much.
I’m a mess, I confess,that im nothing without you. And there’s nothing I can do to prove to you I’m being honest
If I run away I have no where to go..
If I kill myself nobody would miss me. If somebody happens to miss me, they’ll forget about me when the years pass.
6 months of medications does things to a person. Every single day I fight off depression with one thing pushing me to keep going. I know you can’t force love. Baby I know…
I will not force anything. Rather than painfully sit and wait until that thing deep down inside of you comes out and pushes you to accept my begging. And I know that you will be faithful. I don’t doubt that. I’m not asking you to go against anything. I just want you to know that I am waiting. My arms will always be open. I’ve made mistakes. Now I’m trying to make them right.
once you realize she isn’t the one for you. Or maybe she has different plans. I am here. I’ve already said it once and I will say it a million times over, I can wait years.
I understand that I’m not there and she is. That was the main strain on our relationship and it wasn’t healthy. Next time we will be together every single day. There will be no strain on our relationship and I will shower you with hugs and kisses. You will always know how much I love you, I promise.
I will always be there for you. And you know where to find me when you need me. You know that.
You said you were enjoying life and trying to find someone who cares…you said that on the 23rd…
god 5 days before that…
…I just wish you would’ve fought harder….
i still love you. It doesn’t change a thing.
you know you don’t have to completely break contact with me. I can wait a million years for you, I just can’t live my life without you. I only want to repair what’s broken.
i promise I’ll do it.
I am devoted now. Isn’t it now that counts, love?
The past…I was sad…I was mad. I felt deprived of attention. I was also under the influence. I know that there is no excuse. I’ve asked for forgiveness.
Now all I’m looking for is you’re forgiveness. And a new chapter..the one where we live happily ever after. I will get my happily ever after. I will make sure you get it too. Im working my harderst.
I can make him love me.
things will change. Things will change. I will give him everything he wants. He can move out of his moms house..I’ll show him that I love him every single second we are together.
I don’t care that it only took him a week to get over me… September 19th… One week..I deserve it. I deserve to be treated like shit. From the beginning I deserved the little attention he gave me. I just didn’t realize it.
He can treat me however he wants. I will show him that I love him.
