The rest of the medicine in my bottle isn’t enough to kill me.. I have to wait until I got another prescription. I talked to John. He has become a mean person… I don’t understand how he was so nice when we were together.. I want to believe that true love exists…But I thought that was true love… He says I never loved him, I know he is just trying to hurt me.. I don’t think he has ever even loved me. He says all of the time we spent together was “fun”, everything we shared, every time we made love.. he was simply just having fun. He says that all of the good times has amounted up to nothing. He is so wrong. I cry.. This pain is unbearable. The only thing to stop it is John or eternal rest.
I am not having any relationships from now until I get that new bottle of medicine. It hurts too much. I can’t keep living like this. This isn’t living. I’m not going to go to the college anymore. I will try to go up into the mountains before I get my medicine to just enjoy nature and take pictures..
I know now that the universe and Earth’s consciousness work together and is the highest power.. I will be rejoined with nature and formed back into stardust..